Snide Piper

Where she goes, all the bad girls follow. Can you hear her song? -- Number 80-HD -- SNIPE PIPER

Snide Piper has been a lover of all things musical and shiny since birth. When her mother introduced her to the wondrous classic Xanadu in the 1980s her love of Roller Disco was realized. Wishing everyday for a world of metallic spandex and glittering music Piper would escape to a fantasy world, the rink, and make believe she too could realize her dreams as a roller disco diva. As the glitz and sparkle of the 1980s gave way to the florescence and neon of the 1990s the dream slowly faded as well.

When the world had lost all shimmer and all hope was thought to be lost Piper laid down her dreams and picked up the drab, yet admirable and rewarding, tools of education; leading all of the children under her care to the world of Knowledge and away from their own childish fantasies. The brooding and festering of a dream unrealized turned Piper, into a horrid and mean monstrous woman.

This life of discontent and agony came to a dramatic and melodious halt when Piper saw that the Bleeding Heartland Rollergirls roller derby league was having try-outs. Could this be a way to finally accomplish her dreams of being Queen of the Rink? After she had made the League she gained a shiny new respect for the dreams and fantasies of the children, which she had once squelched. And so the Snide Piper returned all of the children to their land of make believe, yet continued to teach them the history and meanings of the outside world, because those are the standards folks!