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Ashley Moseman
Elliott Ashley Moseman was born on July 22, 1980 in Robbinsville, North Carolina to R. Kent and Toni Moseman. Following moves to Greenville, South Carolina and Adelaide, South Australia, Ashley settled in Monroe County in 1988.
Contents
Elementary School Years
Ashley was first enrolled in University Elementary School where he was a part of the Gifted and Talented program for the fourth through sixth grades. Here, he gained a reputation as both reserved and yet fiercely competitive, known for his vocal disbelief at having finished second in various reading contests in which he was convinced the first place student had forged the number of pages read to win the battle.
On one occasion, the NBC television network filmed his classroom as part of a series honoring the work of his teacher. This day, he was not on his best behavior, and NBC aired a clip of his teacher noting, "I'm not proud of Ashley...and Nick" Undoubtedly, such lack of respect fuelled the characteristic cynicism that remains an essential personal trait.
In sixth grade, Ashley first met James Nichols.
Middle School Years
Beginning in August of 1992, Ashley was enrolled at Tri-North Middle School where he was known for both his outstanding understanding of advanced biological concepts as well as his penchant for wearing Umbro brand soccer shorts in even the most frigid weather conditions. While wearing this attire in the gym during lunch on one occasion in the eighth grade, Ashley was "pantsed" by Eli Daggy.
He continued to be involved in the Gifted and Talented program while in middle school. In Ms. Connie Austin's seventh grade social studies course, he was assigned to study the country of Burma.
High School Years
In 1994, Ashley began his studies at Bloomington High School North(BHSN), where he participated in soccer and Science Olympiad.
He showed a preference for the Adidas Samba shoe, which he would wear far beyond its intended period of use. When the shoes began to break apart, he would use the sole of the shoe to flick cigarette butts at people and inanimate objects.
He graduated with honors in 1998.
College Years
Ashley first attended Indiana University in 1998, living in Read Hall. He later transferred to Carleton College, where he received a degree in biology and examined breast cancer genetics for his senior project.
While at Carleton, Ashley was a key member of the college's third division intramural championship basketball team his junior season, for which he received a priced t-shirt as a reward. He also participated in the Stone Skipping Society.
Ashley graduated from Carleton College in 2002.
Nomadic Years
Following graduation from Carleton College, Ashley worked in laboratories at the University of Minnesota for two years, and at Indiana University for one year.
Married Life
On June 11, 2005 Ashley married Annie Kim Park at First United Methodist Church in Bloomington, whom he had been dating since 1998. They now reside in Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts where he is pursuing a PhD in immunology at Harvard University. They are the proud parents of a beautiful Boston terrier, Marvin.
Love of Soccer
While Ashley is known to have played soccer beginning in early childhood, his skills as a player truly began to blossom during fifth grade recess practice sessions on the blacktop football field at University Elementary School. He further developed his deft touch and defensive prowess during a stint at the Indiana University Soccer Camp in the summer of 1992. There Ashley and his camp roomate, fellow Bloomington resident Jonah Skoog, were dubbed "The Bloomingtonians" by their instructors. He represented the Bloomington Barons, Bloomington United, and the Cutters[[1]] over his 10 year career in Bloomington's youth soccer community.
During Ashley's high school years he continued to evolve as a footballer under the tutelage of coach Dan Matthews (AKA Danimal AKA Dan Juan DeMatthews). He quickly settled into the role of holding midfielder/enforcer for the Cougar squad. Much like his favorite player, Dutch International and Tottenham Hotspur midfielder Edgar Davids, Ashley was known for his vicious (yet legal) tackles on the pitch. At various points in his tenure as a player at BHSN, Ashley could be observed full-volleying an unsuspecting opponent in the rib cage, fracturing the ankle of another during a 50-50 challenge, and breaking an opponent's rib after Ashley was the victim of a cheap shot during a post tackle scuffle. A majority of these devastating challenges were the result of Ashley's inconsistent ability to keep the ball close to his feet when dribbling, a fact which Ashley aggressively disputes.
Ashley's most notorious encounter as a player occured during the fall of 1997 when his BHSN team played Bloomington High School South (BHSS) in the regular season. The BHSS squad included a similar enforcer in midfielder Aaron Breeden, whom went on to play college soccer at Emory University in Atlanta. Ashley and Aaron clashed twice on the pitch during 50-50 encounters, the second of which resulted in Aaron being launch into the air and his subsequent removal from the game due to injury.
While Ashley was a feared tackler of the ball, he also possessed excellent field vision and passing skills and was adorned with All-Conference Honors after his senior year at BHSN.
Ashley returned to the pitch his final two years at Carleton College where he again served his role as punishing defensive center midfielder for the junior varsity squad, setting the tone for his younger teammates.
Dietary Interests
Ashley Moseman's dental record suggests an omnivorous diet. In fact, naturalists have yet to discover a food that Ashley will not eat, though naturalists have discovered that there are some foods which he is unable to digest, including cream, skim milk, 2% milk, pizza, half-and-half, cheddar cheese, YooHoo, pancakes, cottage cheese, premium ice cream, low fat ice cream, yogurt, ice cream sandwiches, ice milk, cream cheese, neufchatel cheese, fondue (cheese variety), beer cheese dip, beer cheese soup, Taco Bell Nachos Supreme (if containing sour cream or nacho cheese), cheese fries, breadsticks and cheese dip, breadsticks and ranch dip, goat milk, feta, Greek cheese pies, breast milk, New England style clam chowder, cheeseburgers, lasagna, baked ziti, spinach-artichoke dip, cheese balls, Velveeta, Kraft singles, Mac and Cheese, Lunchables, string cheese, taquitos, Pizza Rolls, Lean Pizza Rolls, Totino's Pizza, butter, garlic bread, cheesy garlic bread, mozzarella e pomodoro, hot dogs with cheese filling, arranged cheese platters, creamy Italian salad dressing, twice baked potatos, cheese curds, buttermilk biscuits (with or without gravy), most cakes, most bars, most cookies, cheese filled pretzel bites, cheese blintzes, quiche, Moons Over My Hammy, the Denver omlette, cheese enchiladas, cheddar straws, pants made from cheese fabric, cream of mushroom soup, green bean casserole, chicken bake, chicken Kiev, chocolate cheese pie, blueberry cream cheese squares, cheesecake, spoonbread, banana bread, scalloped potatoes au gratin, cheese bread, onion bread, French onion soup with cheese topping, chicken and sweet potato casserole, blue cheese-rice casserole, tuna casserole, Cobb salad, Reuben sandwich, Swiss cream of potato soup, scalloped potatoes, Mushroom woodchuck casserole, impossible cheeseburger pie, brown derby pie, cherry quickie, lobster bisque, Chi Chi's enchiladas Cancun, corn fritters, asparagus-mushroom casserole, fudge, milk-based frosting, sauerkraut cake, carrot cake, dilly bread, dilly bars, strawberry banana delight, turkey casserole, shrimp wiggle, chicken imperial, mushrooms stuffed with swiss cheese, cream pie, thimble cookies, grilled cheese sandwiches, cheese lovers pizza, meat lovers pizza, Hawaiian pizza, pepperoni pizza, burbon cake, Bailey's Irish Cream, St. Brendan's Liqueur, hot stuffed picnic rolls, taco mix shredded cheese variety, parmesan cheese, root beer float, creamy and cheesy potato salad, pea and processed cheese salad with miracle whip, whipped cream, creme brulee, Whopper with cheese, Fran's hot snappy snacks, chili con queso, Fillet-o-Fish, Big Mac, Quarter Pounder with Cheese, jalapeno poppers, breaded mozzarella sticks, white cheddar rice cakes, Juicy Lucy burgers, aged manchego, pont l'eveque, cypress moon drunken goat cheese, white russians, Egg McMuffins, whey, berry trifle, Cherry Garcia, Yoplait Gogurt, cafe au lait, manicotti, and brie.
Meatloaf
Referred to by its streetnames "loaf," "meatlog," and "The Wondrous Loaf," any ground meat product mixed with unrelated ingredieants, baked, and served with ketchup can expect a very short lifespan. He also pioneered a novel form of conglomerate meat dish known as the "Meat Muffin."
Guacamole
Beware the small man with something to prove. Throughout his college eating career, Mr. Moseman was witnessed on many occasions to consider a large bowl of "Guac" an appropriate main course.
Burritos
Ashley enjoys carnitas from Chipotle.
Wild Foods: Foraging
Ashley Moseman is a major proponent of eating foods discovered growing in wooded areas, near streams, and in front yards. He has been observed eating wild pears, raspberries, blackberries, apples, strawberries, avocados, mangoes, guavas, pomelos, nasturtium flowers, and grubs.
Salt
In January 2002, Ashley Moseman was quoted in "The Carletonian" as saying "I love salt. I even put salt on my salt. Salt, salt, salt."
Other Food Concerns
Ashley loves olives and capers.
