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Dan Neumeyer
Dan Neumeyer was born in Bloomington in 1981. He mysteriously disappeared in 1997, no doubt inspiring all sorts of absurd rumors, only one of which is actually true. (It's your guess as to which one. Neener neener.) He returned with much fanfare on December 17, 1999, and has been back and forth between Bloomington and Indianapolis since then. In 2005 he was lured by a Medusa-like creature to the tenth level of Hell (Fishers), where he was subsequently abandoned and now remains.
What a bitch.
He now tours the world in his amphibious Cessna Caravan with his "spousal equivalent" (which lies somewhere between ???? and "domestic partner"). Their next live performance will be in Yokohama in mid-March, where they will perform Harajuku burlesque.
Staff
- Personal historian - Cecil
- Wig steward - Kenneth
- Cultural attaché - Joaquin
- Masseuse - Miss Trixie
- Esthetician - Francois
Actual true facts about Dan Neumeyer
- Dan flies airplanes
- The chronology detailed above, while bizarre, is an actual true fact
- Several Japanese words, when transliterated, are spelled "dan." Among these are the words for "failure" and "man." This is ironic.
